Kick My A*#

Alright, well, didn't accomplish anything yesterday, but soaking up the sunshine and staying up WAY too late. You know, now that I think about it, that isn't entirely true. Which makes me quite happy at the moment because I'm feeling rather discouraged. For the play that I am doing (Oklahoma! July 8-18, come see it!!!) I needed to find some fabric to look at for costuming , so we dragged the 6 storage containers into the yard (I was NOT giving up the sun that easily) and went through them all. I actually got several things to donate, threw some stuff out, and did a bit of organizing. So, not a big progress but something. Of course now I actually have to put all the storage containers away since they are currently sitting in the middle of the living room. Que Sera, Sera right?

So on to today. I am feeling the pull of the overwhelmingness, and the depression and all the other little crap that keeps me from accomplishing anything. Maybe I just need to look at it in a different way. Here's how the day went. Had an incredibly long and horribly frustrating dance rehearsal today. Came home and had absolutely no ability but to do anything but sit and unwind. I feel as though I haven't stopped in ages. The past week:
Monday: I can't even remember this far back.
Tuesday: Work, straight to rehearsal.
Wednesday: Work, straight to rehearsal.
Thursday: Work, dinner with family, rehearsal.
Friday: Day long trip off island, battle with traffic so I could make it to Kit Kat's play.
Saturday: Rehearsal, errands, fabric snooping, graduation party until 2:00am
and we're back at today. So even though I actually had a 3 day weekend I haven't stopped doing stuff of some sort. What this all leads up to is me once again not cleaning anything. Luckily my hun got the urge and cleaned most of the kitchen, so yay for him tonight! I figure at this point I need to look at things differently. There is an entire chapter in the FLY book about taking care of yourself and NOT running on empty. So maybe what I really needed was to stop. To not clean, to read my book and try to take deep calming breathes. Now if only I could have gotten rid of the horrible guilty feeling I had the entire time. Sigh....

I figure soon it might be time for the kick in the pants from my avid readers if I can't get some time and get rid of the aura of failure I feel is hanging around my head. I am going to make my goal for tomorrow real vague so I can feel that I have accomplished ANYTHING. Tomorrow my goal is I am going to clean...something. I figure that gives me lost of room for my Monday. God I hate Mondays....